Household Superstitions
by
Joseph Addison
Visions and magic spells, can you
despise,
And laugh at witches, ghosts, and prodigies?
And laugh at witches, ghosts, and prodigies?
Going yesterday to dine with an old acquaintance, I
had the misfortune to find his whole family very much dejected. Upon
asking him the occasion of it, he told me that his wife had dreamt a very
strange dream the night before, which they were afraid portended some
misfortune to themselves or to their children. At her coming into the
room, I observed a settled melancholy in her countenance, which I should have been
troubled for, had I not heard from whence it proceeded. We were no sooner
sat down, but, after having looked upon me a little while, “My dear,” says she,
turning to her husband, “you may now see the stranger that was in the candle
last night.” Soon after this, as they began to talk of family affairs, a
little boy at the lower end of the table told her that he was to go into
join-hand on Thursday. “Thursday!” says she. “No, child; if it
please God, you shall not begin upon Childermas-day; tell your writing-master
that Friday will be soon enough.” I was reflecting with myself on the
oddness of her fancy, and wondering that anybody would establish it as a rule,
to lose a day in every week. In the midst of these my musings, she
desired me to reach her a little salt upon the point of my knife, which I did
in such a trepidation and hurry of obedience that I let it drop by the way; at
which she immediately startled, and said it fell towards her. Upon this I
looked very blank; and observing the concern of the whole table, began to
consider myself, with some confusion, as a person that had brought a disaster
upon the family. The lady, however, recovering herself after a little
space, said to her husband with a sigh, “My dear, misfortunes never come
single.” My friend, I found, acted but an under part at his table; and,
being a man of more good-nature than understanding, thinks himself obliged to
fall in with all the passions and humours of his yoke-fellow. “Do not you
remember, child,” says she, “that the pigeon-house fell the very afternoon that
our careless wench spilt the salt upon the table?”—“Yes,” says he, “my dear;
and the next post brought us an account of the battle of Almanza.” The
reader may guess at the figure I made, after having done all this mischief.
I despatched my dinner as soon as I could, with my usual taciturnity; when, to
my utter confusion, the lady seeing me quitting my knife and fork, and laying
them across one another upon my plate, desired me that I would humour her so
far as to take them out of that figure and place them side by side. What
the absurdity was which I had committed I did not know, but I suppose there was
some traditionary superstition in it; and therefore, in obedience to the lady
of the house, I disposed of my knife and fork in two parallel lines, which is
the figure I shall always lay them in for the future, though I do not know any
reason for it.
It
is not difficult for a man to see that a person has conceived an aversion to
him. For my own part, I quickly found, by the lady’s looks, that she
regarded me as a very odd kind of fellow, with an unfortunate aspect: for which
reason I took my leave immediately after dinner, and withdrew to my own
lodgings. Upon my return home, I fell into a profound contemplation on the
evils that attend these superstitious follies of mankind; how they subject us
to imaginary afflictions, and additional sorrows, that do not properly come
within our lot. As if the natural calamities of life were not sufficient
for it, we turn the most indifferent circumstances into misfortunes, and suffer
as much from trifling accidents as from real evils. I have known the
shooting of a star spoil a night’s rest; and have seen a man in love grow pale,
and lose his appetite, upon the plucking of a merry-thought. A
screech-owl at midnight has alarmed a family more than a band of robbers; nay,
the voice of a cricket hath struck more terror than the roaring of a
lion. There is nothing so inconsiderable which may not appear dreadful to
an imagination that is filled with omens and prognostics: a rusty nail or a
crooked pin shoot up into prodigies.
I
remember I was once in a mixed assembly that was full of noise and mirth, when
on a sudden an old woman unluckily observed there were thirteen of us in
company. This remark struck a panic terror into several who were present,
insomuch that one or two of the ladies were going to leave the room; but a
friend of mine taking notice that one of our female companions was big with
child, affirmed there were fourteen in the room, and that, instead of
portending one of the company should die, it plainly foretold one of them
should be born. Had not my friend found this expedient to break the omen,
I question not but half the women in the company would have fallen sick that
very night.
An
old maid that is troubled with the vapours produces infinite disturbances of
this kind among her friends and neighbours. I know a maiden aunt of a
great family, who is one of these antiquated Sibyls, that forebodes and
prophesies from one end of the year to the other. She is always seeing
apparitions and hearing death-watches; and was the other day almost frighted
out of her wits by the great house-dog that howled in the stable, at a time
when she lay ill of the toothache. Such an extravagant cast of mind
engages multitudes of people not only in impertinent terrors, but in
supernumerary duties of life, and arises from that fear and ignorance which are
natural to the soul of man. The horror with which we entertain the
thoughts of death, or indeed of any future evil, and the uncertainty of its
approach, fill a melancholy mind with innumerable apprehensions and suspicions,
and consequently dispose it to the observation of such groundless prodigies and
predictions. For as it is the chief concern of wise men to retrench the
evils of life by the reasonings of philosophy, it is the employment of fools to
multiply them by the sentiments of superstition.
For
my own part, I should be very much troubled were I endowed with this divining
quality, though it should inform me truly of everything that can befall
me. I would not anticipate the relish of any happiness, nor feel the
weight of any misery, before it actually arrives.
I
know but one way of fortifying my soul against these gloomy presages and
terrors of mind; and that is, by securing to myself the friendship and
protection of that Being who disposes of events and governs futurity. He
sees, at one view, the whole thread of my existence, not only that part of it
which I have already passed through, but that which runs forward into all the
depths of eternity. When I lay me down to sleep, I recommend myself to
His care; when I awake, I give myself up to His direction. Amidst all the
evils that threaten me, I will look up to Him for help, and question not but He
will either avert them, or turn them to my advantage. Though I know
neither the time nor the manner of the death I am to die, I am not at all
solicitous about it; because I am sure that he knows them both, and that He
will not fail to comfort and support me under them.
